KILLING THE SOUL: THE CHILD HER PARENTS LEFT

Lito Gruet the author.

Real Stories! Real People! Real Salvation!

People who got enslaved by addiction have different stories to share but are also similar in so many ways. The destructiveness and harmfulness of drugs is the common denominator. Many spiral down to oblivion, but there are always people who overcome, excel and give back! Here is a personally written story of one amazing person who is very dear to me. This is Poy de Lara:

My parents left to work abroad when I was very young. I was left with my grandmother, uncles and aunt. Growing up I was always loved, cherished, and protected. Because I was the child whom her parents left. I could remember going to recognition days and graduation, looking at my classmates and en

POY DE LARA

vying them because their parents were there.

I was always an achiever during my school days. I held one of the high ranking offices in our church’s youth group. I created stage plays that awe many in high school. I was the “favorite”. This is also because I was the child whom her parents left.
Fortunately, I was able to enter one of the most elite medical programs  in the country, I was on my way to becoming great. But everything shattered. I woke up not feeling good about myself. I felt abandoned, disgusted by, I felt alone, there was actually no reason why. I was gaining too much weight that I needed to find something that could shred it fast. Otherwise no one will love me. That’s what I was thinking. So I used meth. This is the start of my life crumbling down to pieces.
I’ve been in rehab twice in a span of eleven years. I asked myself why did this happen. I was looking for someone to blame. I needed to play the victim. I needed to be the victim. It took 12 years of therapy, some suicidal Ideations in between that to make me realize what I was missing. There’s this one question that changed it all: “What role did I play in my life’s current situation?”.
Being coddled, and sheltered and protected didn’t help me. It made me dependent to other people’s approval, likes, appreciation and company. Being loved so much didn’t help me either. I felt that no matter what I do, they can’t leave me. I am family, and I was the child whom my parents left. With everything that was happening around me, I was disempowered. And you know why? Because I didn’t have responsibility for myself. I’ve always looked and found someone that could shelter me, protect me, and somewhat blame for who I was becoming.
The moment I became grounded on the truth of the role that I played being in this situation, I decided to change. True change can only happen when the desire to change becomes better than the desire to remain the same. This has got to stop now. I refuse to be the victim. I refuse to be the child that my parents left. It’s time for me to take responsibility and ownership of my own life, thoughts, feelings, actions and inactions. This is all on me now. My recovery is on me. I believe that the moment I took responsibility for myself, I was no longer the victim, I was no longer disempowered, and indeed responsibility breeds empowerment.
Way back 2016 I’ve established a group called the Juan Life Group, which caters and supports not only recovering addicts but also those whose life lost track because of various problems in life. We talk about coping, recovery, relapse and preventing it, we talk about how their lives have changed because they made a choice. They took charge of their lives. It’s not easy to guide people into facing their demons, it’s the only way in which one can truly change. Name your demon, name it, and shame it. Take responsibility for it. Drive it. Control it. Become one with it.
No one should be a victim. No one should be left out. No one should be disempowered. Everyone should take responsibility for themselves. Every decision we make, every feeling we have, every action you do, it’s all on you. Like everything is on me, it is all on you.
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