I HIT ROCK BOTTOM WHEN I LOST GOD, MY SOUL AND MY SELF-RESPECT

It would be so easy to say “If you haven’t walked in my shoes, you have never known what it’s like to hit rock bottom”. We all have different interpretations of what we consider is the worst and lowest point in our lives. One’s “devastating” experience may be another’s “daily” routine. Have you tried getting arrested and thrown in jail? Have you tried really going hungry? (Not the hunger you feel for missing a meal). Have you slept in the streets? Shoplifted so you could eat? So what do you consider as your “rock bottom”?

They say the higher your climb, the harder you fall! And this is the gospel truth. As I look back on what stupidity I did back then, it seemed that I lived 16 years in a daze. For I could never reconcile how in the world I did everything I once thought was unthinkable! How I threw out all my values, morality and beliefs in my journey as a Catholic Christian. But with drugs…this is “normal”.

With all humility… no fall could be more dramatic than of someone who was considered a movie and modeling “celebrity” in his own right, then ending up a law-breaker and living in a world associating with all kinds of criminals.

In just a short span of a few years, this so-called “celebrity” experienced several arrests and jail time, living in drug-infested slums, sleeping in cockroach, rat and mosquito-infested parked jeepneys and streets and foraged thru trash bins for thrown fastfood packs looking for leftovers. Hunger is a different kind of desperation. It is scary not knowing where to get a next meal. I can only now imagine and pray for the many who live this lifestyle everyday.

I missed my father’s last breath and his cremation, anf I missed visiting my dying sister because I preferred to be with my drug friends. When my mother died and was buried, I was in rehab.

From way up there to way down below…this could be considered “my rock bottom”. But NO… I do not consider this as the lowest point in my life because  I always somehow learned to “adapt”. (Just ask any drug addict how resilient and resourceful we can get and you will be amazed.)

I reached rock bottom when stopped loving God,  when I lost the very core of my soul and when I lost my SELF-RESPECT!

How about you? What is your rock bottom? Try becoming an addict and you will surely find out.

*photos taken from the internet and represent the real-life experiences I went thru.

Thank you JESUS for salvation! ❤️

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